Thanksgiving Leftovers - Good Enough for the Science Fair

I am pleased to report my findings on a highly scientific experiment conducted in my kitchen this very afternoon. In order to fully explain this scientific experiment, I must first provide the predicate upon which it is based, with said predicate also appropriately requiring a switch to third person. (Throat clears; predicate begins.)

Those who know Alice Haddow will concur that she often has great difficulty keeping a schedule. This is not to say she is irresponsible; she, in fact, often demonstrates tendencies 180 degrees the opposite.

The results of the often-required juxtaposition of an overdeveloped sense of responsibility with a complete inability to maintain a schedule typically wreaks havoc on Alice Haddow and those around her. Case in point: Thanksgiving. Citizens of the United States treat this as a holiday to be celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November. After years and years of trying to meet this schedule by cooking a dinner intended to be complete by said Thursday, Alice Haddow finally gave up a few years ago and began dialing the telephone number to International Country Club for Thanksgiving reservations. She did this much to the chagrin of her son-in-law Emron, who has vowed never, ever, ever to eat Thanksgiving dinner anywhere other than the confines of a home, assuming, of course, he is located in the United States when turkey day rolls around. If he is outside the country, all bets are off, although Mexico this year did not seem too large an obstacle for a Prattastic in-home meal.

Nonetheless, years of feasting at the ITCC buffet, unfortunately without Emron, not only nourished Alice Haddow's sense of responsibility but it also let her off the hook with regard to meeting a schedule. She was, after all, dutifully paying homage to the holiday while simultaneously limiting her scheduled obligations to getting dressed in time to leave for the 3 p.m. sitting. Thanks to an invitation from Uncle John and Aunt Kathy, the Haddow family experimented this year with the buffet at Fairfax Country Club to find similar, but improved (because the food was better), results. The only downside to either choice of location boils down to one thing after dinner is done: ZERO leftovers.

Enter this year's big experiment: How to enjoy turkey day at a country club and get some leftovers to boot. This is an experiment one cannot possibly conduct without Dinner Done in Centreville, Virginia. Having noticed an "Everything but the Turkey" ad, Alice Haddow telephoned Dinner Done to inform them she would be picking up their entire EBT kit on Wednesday afternoon, the day before Thanksgiving. Alas, this meant that Alice Haddow must again meet a scheduled obligation, but as long as the obligation remained minimal, Alice Haddow convinced herself she could get to Dinner Done sometime before closing time at 9 pm on Wednesday.

The plan: Eat a feast in Fairfax on Thursday; enjoy pie from Pie Gourmet on Thursday night; on Friday pop the EBT from Dinner Done into the oven for some fast but very delicious "leftovers."

The only glitch: Keeping the schedule. Alice Haddow couldn't get around to cooking the EBT until Sunday, but even then it was well worth it. Knowing she could not possibly predict in advance when the EBT would come out of the oven, Alice Haddow invited three of the coolest girls in the Langley Ward to show up and enjoy them with her sometime--say--between 4 and 5:30 p.m. on Sunday afternoon. The girls arrived at 4:15 p.m., apparently happy to act as guinea pigs in this grand experiment.

Alice Haddow was pleased to conclude the experiment with a big thumbs up from everyone. Henceforth, Thanksgiving for the Haddows will include not only a trip to a CC on Thursday but an EBT kit from Dinner Done as leftovers for Friday (or whenever Alice Haddow can get around to cooking it). Any sons-in-law who insist on turkey in a home simply need to show up three or fewer days after Thanksgiving to enjoy juicy turkey with cranberry sauce and raisin-almond stuffing, buttermilk mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, corn souffle, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin chiffon cheesecake, put together, baked, eaten and cleaned up in six hours or less.

Ummmmmm. A deliciously successful experiment. No schedules required. Alice Haddow would offer it for submission to a local science fair, but then she'd have to write it down on the calendar and remember to get everything done on time.

No, thank you.

Domestic Diva Dedications

This is a shout out for the many Martha Stewarts with whom I've had the great honor of associating lo these multiple decades. Though you may think there's only one Martha Stewart, I beg to differ. I am related to a bunch of them.

The first would include my very own Annie, who has spent the week working on a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for many new friends and business associates in Mexico City. This will be a major feat, given that (a) most of the ingredients necessary for Thanksgiving dinner are often nowhere to be found in Mexico and (b) her kitchen has a single oven and a microwave that must be unplugged if one wishes to use the toaster. Theirs is a very fancy place, but whoever planned the penthouse kitchen wasn't thinking about Thanksgiving dinner when they did it. More power to you, Annie!

And speaking of power, think about my niece Kelsey who is planning Thanksgiving dinner for 30 or more. Yikes! I cannot help but remember the fiascos from decades ago when Kelsey's mom and I would collaborate on the holiday meals. One year, with nine little children under foot, we decided to feed the kids first. What were we thinking?! The adults ended up eating cold turkey (literally), along with cold everything else. Best of luck to you, my domestic diva darling Kelsey. I can't imagine the work involved in your current undertaking. Trust me, there's a reason Kathy and I think there's nothing better than the telephone number to the country club when turkey day rolls around.

Finally, there's my good friend Judy who is also assisting with three meals for 30 people at each meal. As one of the best cooks I know and one of the best sources of advice on any subject imaginable, Judy let me in on a little secret today: Pie Gourmet in Vienna. She promised me I would never be able to make a pie that compares, so today I stopped by to test her theory. Ummm-ummmm. If any of you Martha Stewarts get tired of all the work, find your way to Pie Gourmet, and just pretend you're Martha Stewart. It'll work, I promise.

Paperwork

Thirty-two years ago I student taught at a West Valley City middle school. I’ll never forget the sign above my cooperating teacher’s desk: "Nothing’s complete in life until the paperwork is done." If this constitutes yet another live-by-the-words adage, then I am obligated to consider my life not only incomplete but downright hollow. I have months and months of HCFA 1500 forms to catch up on. I’d say I should stop burning time on the computer and start burning time on my insurance forms. Here’s to making my life complete.

Tivo Backtrack

In the middle of my Aha! moment with Charlie the other evening (see Life post from November 22), my instincts told me that Charlie wasn't pontificating; he was quoting--or at least attempting to quote--someone else. This, of course, led to yet another Aha! moment (with thanks to Oprah for the phrase). If today's under 20 (or even under 30) crowd were to observe the cumbersome research methods required of students and professionals even two decades ago, they would no doubt cover their faces and walk away appalled.

During this age of instant gratification in many areas, including but not limited to research, this is what I did to find out if my instincts about Charlie and his message were correct. First, I got out my trusty Tivo and rescued Life from the "recently deleted" category. With a single push of a button, I instructed my machine not to put it in the trash again until I so directed.

I then wrote down verbatim Charlie's words (yikes! I used a pen), knowing the sentence so praised in yesterday's post almost surely did not belong to Charlie at all. I took the verbatim sentence to yet another machine, called up the Yahoo search engine, and in 0.13 seconds flat found that nothing in the Yahoo universe matched. Ditto the process with Google; same results.

I did find, after adjusting my quotation marks, a multitude of concepts similar to Charlie's utterance, beautifully and poetically written. I wanted to press "select all" and in yet another fraction of a second post all of them to this blog. Thank heavens for copyright laws with which I have just enough familiarity to render me simultaneously dangerous and very, very cautious. My cautious side stopped all of that foolishness in its tracks.

What I did find was a comment attributed to Edward Gardner, described as an "American business leader." The precise quotation, supposedly, follows: "It's not what you take but what you leave behind that defines greatness."

Who is Edward Gardner? I have no idea. And which of my informants, Charlie or Chuck (see link below) came closest to quoting verbatim the concept that had affected me enough to write about it yesterday? Can't answer that. But thank heavens for Tivo and the Internet because I'll find the answers in five minutes or less, discover more questions as a result of that search, and then spend all day long digging for an avalanche of answers, each arriving at the speed of light.

Maybe I'll take a quick break here and go chat on my cell phone. I take it back; Skype is calling!

P.S. The link for the Edward Gardner info, with thanks to Chuck, is http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/great2.htm. See? I told you I'm careful.

Life

I think I am beginning to get the gist of this blogging stuff. When I have stumbled upon intriguing quotations in the past, I have simply typed them into a Word document, stored them on my computer, and hoped at some future date I might find them again.

Having heard an eye-opening, ear-opening, head-turning quotation spoken just last night, I opened up Word this morning to paraphrase it as closely as possible. When I wondered where I might save it for future reference, my mental lightbulb flashed: Word isn't where this belongs, I thought. This kind of thing belongs on Bits and Pieces.

So here I am, reiterating all the mental processes that brought me here today. The purpose is far more simple. Near the end of the most recent episode of Life, Charlie says, "It is not what we carry with us but what we leave behind that defines who we are."

I have complained since my first encounter with this particular show that the makeup artists put too much black mascara on Damian Lewis, the actor that plays Charlie. Last night, however, when he spoke that one sentence of pure brilliance, I decided to leave the complaints behind.

Thank you, Charlie/Damian. And thanks to any writers and directors who deserve credit for finding the words to put in his mouth. They are, indeed, words to live by.

A Shout Out

After socializing with Jack and Lauren for the past two days (yes, I have chosen to use the word "socialize" when it comes to my grandbabies; it seems far superior to the word "babysitting," for reasons that must be obvious), I wanted to send a shout out to some of the most loyal, lovely, and dependable family members in the whole world. When I need you, all I have to do is ask, and you come through for me. Aunt Chris, Ashley, Annie, Karmnella, and KT, you are the best. Thank you for helping me in my time of need.

My next step will be learning how to make all this blog stuff interesting with PICTURES and everything. Love you guys!

Confessions

Ok, I confess. For the first time ever, I was a little (maybe more than a little) disappointed in Dr. Oz in his most recent appearance Oprah show. The trailers for the show tantalized potential viewers with promises of many kinds beauty treatments that would actually help keep us young. When the show actually aired, very few of the earlier promises ended up being fulfilled.

I hope the new book by co-authors Roizen and Oz is better than the show. The good news and the bad news is that I may or may not purchase the latest book, despite the fact that I have in the past purchased each of the others. This is bad news only because it indicates my current (and unexpected) level of disappointment, something that no doubt will subside over time. It is good news because maybe--just maybe--as the grandmother of four, I am content in the notion that the vanity, money, and time that goes into maintaining an outward appearance really should remain among the least of our concerns. That is not to say that we should stop brushing teeth and washing hair; neatness and cleanliness obviously count. But worries about wrinkles and the perfect creams to make them disappear should not consume the time and money currently devoted to them.

All of the other Roizen-Oz books teach us to become experts at living vibrantly healthy lives from the inside out. Those I will keep to read over and over again.

Dr. Oz TODAY!

Gotta fire up my tivo and get ready for a great workout on the elliptical today. Dr. Oz is back! I have realized after burning more than 15,000 calories to Oprah's compelling voice that my biggest reason for clicking O's name on my tivo guide button is none other than the great Dr. Mehmet Oz.

Kudos, too, to Dr. Roizen, frequent co-author with Dr. Oz and the orginator of the Real-Age website. Dr. Oz often touts Dr. Roizen as a "walking encyclopedia." I believe it!

I hope both of them are on the show today. Watch it with me!